Blog Share: What Mommies Mean When They Say “I Need A Break”

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I really couldn’t have said it any better myself. PERFECTLY applicable for all stay-at-home mommies.

This post originally came from Last Mom On Earth

As a stay-at-home mom of two small children, when I say that I need a break, I’m not talking about wanting a vacation or a treat as a reward for doing my job. Needing a break doesn’t mean that I’m seeking a respite from my responsibilities or that I want to put my feet up. It means that I need a moment to feel like a human being in the midst of a relentless life where I don’t belong to myself anymore; where I give my love and energy away, every moment of my existence, and can’t figure out how to keep any for myself.

We’re all very aware of men who don’t understand the point of giving the mother of his children a break. They go to work all day and they don’t have fun at work, do they? When they come home and their wives say, “I need a break,” they think, When do I get a break? I just worked all day and now I have to come home and give my wife a break?

The point of a break, when you’re a stay-at-home parent, isn’t fun, or excitement or relaxation, although breaks that contain those things are great, and we absolutely totally deserve them, because everybody does. When a stay-at-home parent says, “I need a break from being a mommy for an hour or two,” they aren’t trying to swindle you into doing the work of caring for the house and children so that they can get out for some fun and letting loose. Needing a break isn’t the same thing as wanting a vacation.

When you’re a father, caring for your kids doesn’t count as work. It counts as something you promised to do when you created a life. It isn’t the same thing as going to a job. Caring for your children means that you’re teaching them how to be people and giving them the chance to be happy. Taking time out of your life every single day to care for your children is absolutely vital to their growth as people. It’s not something you grace them — or your wife — with. It’s not a favor. It’s not extra work at the end of a long day. It’s part of who you are, because you’re daddy. You are absolutely required, by the fact that you made a baby, to spend all of your time and energy being a father to that baby, for the rest of your life, and that isn’t bad news. Fathering is about your kids deserving a parent who is engaged and who demonstrates that he loves them, because that is what will help them become happy, healthy, successful people.

When I get a break at the end of my day, I don’t use it to have fun. I don’t need a break so that I can unwind and have a blast being me, all on my own, finally, without the kids. I go to the gym. I go grocery shopping. I might take a walk or ride my bike. I garden. I might write or read for a while. I do yard work.

I do whatever I need to do, in that moment, to feel like

I deserve to exist.

I do what I need to do to feel sane and stable and capable of keeping up with the never-ending needs of my beautiful children. My breaks might allow me to think my own thoughts for a few moments. They might allow me to drive a car without being tense and distracted. I might need a break because I want to use the bathroom without someone watching me, or without worrying what might be happening downstairs and yelling, “Mommy is almost done! Are you guys OK?”

I want a break, not because I’m bored or restless or craving some fun, (although I am probably feeling those things a lot of the time.)

I want a break because I put absolutely everything I have into staying at home with my kids.

From the moment I open my eyes in the morning, there isn’t a single second of my day where I’m not engaged and on call. There isn’t a single moment where I am alone with my thoughts, where I’m not being touched and needed and where demands aren’t being made of me. Not a single moment. Not when I’m brushing my teeth or showering or trying to find something clean to wear. Not even in the bathroom.

As stay-at-home parents, we understand that going to work all day isn’t fun, and it isn’t easy. We get that we’re lucky to spend our days with our children. We’ve had responsibilities and stresses outside of motherhood, and we understand that life is challenging for you, and for everyone. We know that commuting to and from work and sitting in a cubical all day is not how you would choose to spend your time, if you had a choice. We know that going to work is not a personal break where you can unwind and put your feet up. We totally get that, and we love you and appreciate you for all you do to keep our families safe and cared for. We would be better at saying thank you if we had even a single ounce of energy or sanity left over at the end of the day. We love you. We do. And, thank you.

We still need a break, though.

Not because we work harder than you or deserve something you don’t. We just need a few minutes to not be on edge, working our nerves and spirits raw for the safety and happiness and health of our kids. We just need a moment to remember who we are, to not feel worried and harried and invisible. We need a second to catch our breath, to make our own choices, to try to love ourselves, for a moment. We need the opportunity to exist, as a human being with a name and thoughts and ideas; as a person who is allowed to complete a thought. We need to be allowed to drive a car and use the bathroom without being pulled away and pressured. We just need a moment, or we’re going to fall apart.

We love you, daddies. We aren’t trying to get anything over on you. We’re not trying to say that we don’t think you work hard. We aren’t trying to weasel some fun or excitement out of life, by denying you yours.

We just need a second to try to remember who we are.

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Blog Share: What Mommies Mean When They Say “I Need A Break”

20130829-212422.jpg

I really couldn’t have said it any better myself. PERFECTLY applicable for all stay-at-home mommies.

This post originally came from Last Mom On Earth

As a stay-at-home mom of two small children, when I say that I need a break, I’m not talking about wanting a vacation or a treat as a reward for doing my job. Needing a break doesn’t mean that I’m seeking a respite from my responsibilities or that I want to put my feet up. It means that I need a moment to feel like a human being in the midst of a relentless life where I don’t belong to myself anymore; where I give my love and energy away, every moment of my existence, and can’t figure out how to keep any for myself.

We’re all very aware of men who don’t understand the point of giving the mother of his children a break. They go to work all day and they don’t have fun at work, do they? When they come home and their wives say, “I need a break,” they think, When do I get a break? I just worked all day and now I have to come home and give my wife a break?

The point of a break, when you’re a stay-at-home parent, isn’t fun, or excitement or relaxation, although breaks that contain those things are great, and we absolutely totally deserve them, because everybody does. When a stay-at-home parent says, “I need a break from being a mommy for an hour or two,” they aren’t trying to swindle you into doing the work of caring for the house and children so that they can get out for some fun and letting loose. Needing a break isn’t the same thing as wanting a vacation.

When you’re a father, caring for your kids doesn’t count as work. It counts as something you promised to do when you created a life. It isn’t the same thing as going to a job. Caring for your children means that you’re teaching them how to be people and giving them the chance to be happy. Taking time out of your life every single day to care for your children is absolutely vital to their growth as people. It’s not something you grace them — or your wife — with. It’s not a favor. It’s not extra work at the end of a long day. It’s part of who you are, because you’re daddy. You are absolutely required, by the fact that you made a baby, to spend all of your time and energy being a father to that baby, for the rest of your life, and that isn’t bad news. Fathering is about your kids deserving a parent who is engaged and who demonstrates that he loves them, because that is what will help them become happy, healthy, successful people.

When I get a break at the end of my day, I don’t use it to have fun. I don’t need a break so that I can unwind and have a blast being me, all on my own, finally, without the kids. I go to the gym. I go grocery shopping. I might take a walk or ride my bike. I garden. I might write or read for a while. I do yard work.

I do whatever I need to do, in that moment, to feel like

I deserve to exist.

I do what I need to do to feel sane and stable and capable of keeping up with the never-ending needs of my beautiful children. My breaks might allow me to think my own thoughts for a few moments. They might allow me to drive a car without being tense and distracted. I might need a break because I want to use the bathroom without someone watching me, or without worrying what might be happening downstairs and yelling, “Mommy is almost done! Are you guys OK?”

I want a break, not because I’m bored or restless or craving some fun, (although I am probably feeling those things a lot of the time.)

I want a break because I put absolutely everything I have into staying at home with my kids.

From the moment I open my eyes in the morning, there isn’t a single second of my day where I’m not engaged and on call. There isn’t a single moment where I am alone with my thoughts, where I’m not being touched and needed and where demands aren’t being made of me. Not a single moment. Not when I’m brushing my teeth or showering or trying to find something clean to wear. Not even in the bathroom.

As stay-at-home parents, we understand that going to work all day isn’t fun, and it isn’t easy. We get that we’re lucky to spend our days with our children. We’ve had responsibilities and stresses outside of motherhood, and we understand that life is challenging for you, and for everyone. We know that commuting to and from work and sitting in a cubical all day is not how you would choose to spend your time, if you had a choice. We know that going to work is not a personal break where you can unwind and put your feet up. We totally get that, and we love you and appreciate you for all you do to keep our families safe and cared for.
We would be better at saying thank you if we had even a single ounce of energy or sanity left over at the end of the day. We love you. We do. And, thank you.

We still need a break, though.

Not because we work harder than you or deserve something you don’t. We just need a few minutes to not be on edge, working our nerves and spirits raw for the safety and happiness and health of our kids. We just need a moment to remember who we are, to not feel worried and harried and invisible. We need a second to catch our breath, to make our own choices, to try to love ourselves, for a moment. We need the opportunity to exist, as a human being with a name and thoughts and ideas; as a person who is allowed to complete a thought. We need to be allowed to drive a car and use the bathroom without being pulled away and pressured. We just need a moment, or we’re going to fall apart.

We love you, daddies. We aren’t trying to get anything over on you. We’re not trying to say that we don’t think you work hard. We aren’t trying to weasel some fun or excitement out of life, by denying you yours.

We just need a second to try to
remember who we are.

♥ Breast is Best â™¥

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Whoever said only formula-fed babies were chunky didn’t meet my breast-fed beast.

I joke that I am still producing toddler milk (which has a higher fat content) because Luke looks like he’s never skipped a meal in his life.

He was 8 pounds 1 oz when he was born and gained about 2 ounces per day! He was 14 pounds by his 2 month well baby check up. The doctors would always comment on his rolls and I asked if he’d meet his physical milestones early like Austin, the doctor replied “with that much meat on his bones it will be hard to roll over without assistance.”

Austin was much much leaner as a baby. While Austin was an adorable baby, I can’t help but want to kiss Luke’s rolls all day long. There is just something about chunky babies that makes them so delicious (creepy, I know).

I am extremely blessed to have no supply issues. Breastfeeding came naturally to me (especially the second time around).

It was always my plan to breastfeed my babies and I’m so lucky and thankful I can. I have nothing against formula fed babies, though. It’s a mothers choice.
It breaks my heart, however, to hear about someone who desperately wanted to breastfeed, but couldn’t. She “didn’t produce enough,” or “dried up,” or that her “baby had a bad latch.”

I know that some of the reason that mothers tend to switch to formula is because of lack of support. Well, I’m here to give you MY support.

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Here are a few tid bits I can share about breastfeeding:
1. Never quit on a bad day
2. Ask for help right away
3. Growth spurts happen frequently, don’t feel like you’re not producing enough. Just keep nursing and you’ll get through it
4. Gel pads help with sore nipples
5. La leche hotline for over the phone advice
6. Make some you time
7. Pump in between feeding a to get ur milk to come in that first week
8. When you have a fussy baby at the breast take a break and regroup yourself.
9. Cabbage leaves, hot compress, nursing frequently will reduce engorgement and reduce the risk of clogged milk ducts and/or mastitis
10. Lanolin ointment is great for sore or cracked nipples when first starting to BF
11. Hold off on a pacifier or the bottle until you and your baby get in the groove of BFing (wait at least 4 weeks).
12. Bamboobies nursing pads are GREAT for leaky boobies 😉
13. The best — and probably hardest — breastfeeding advice is to relax! Remember that you and your baby are learning

Check Out These Useful Infographics:

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20130827-205914.jpg

20130827-205704.jpg

20130827-205720.jpg

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Feel free to ask me anything. I can offer support, advice, or a shoulder to cry on.

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♥ Breast is Best ♥

20130827-203651.jpg

Whoever said only formula-fed babies were chunky didn’t meet my breast-fed beast.

I joke that I am still producing toddler milk (which has a higher fat content) because Luke looks like he’s never skipped a meal in his life.

He was 8 pounds 1 oz when he was born and gained about 2 ounces per day! He was 14 pounds by his 2 month well baby check up. The doctors would always comment on his rolls and I asked if he’d meet his physical milestones early like Austin, the doctor replied “with that much meat on his bones it will be hard to roll over without assistance.”

Austin was much much leaner as a baby. While Austin was an adorable baby, I can’t help but want to kiss Luke’s rolls all day long. There is just something about chunky babies that makes them so delicious (creepy, I know).

I am extremely blessed to have no supply issues. Breastfeeding came naturally to me (especially the second time around).

It was always my plan to breastfeed my babies and I’m so lucky and thankful I can. I have nothing against formula fed babies, though. It’s a mothers choice.
It breaks my heart, however, to hear about someone who desperately wanted to breastfeed, but couldn’t. She “didn’t produce enough,” or “dried up,” or that her “baby had a bad latch.”

I know that some of the reason that mothers tend to switch to formula is because of lack of support. Well, I’m here to give you MY support.

20130827-210744.jpg

Here are a few tid bits I can share about breastfeeding:
1. Never quit on a bad day
2. Ask for help right away
3. Growth spurts happen frequently, don’t feel like you’re not producing enough. Just keep nursing and you’ll get through it
4. Gel pads help with sore nipples
5. La leche hotline for over the phone advice
6. Make some you time
7. Pump in between feeding a to get ur milk to come in that first week
8. When you have a fussy baby at the breast take a break and regroup yourself.
9. Cabbage leaves, hot compress, nursing frequently will reduce engorgement and reduce the risk of clogged milk ducts and/or mastitis
10. Lanolin ointment is great for sore or cracked nipples when first starting to BF
11. Hold off on a pacifier or the bottle until you and your baby get in the groove of BFing (wait at least 4 weeks).
12. Bamboobies nursing pads are GREAT for leaky boobies 😉
13. The best — and probably hardest — breastfeeding advice is to relax! Remember that you and your baby are learning

Check Out These Useful Infographics:

20130827-205907.jpg

20130827-205914.jpg

20130827-205704.jpg

20130827-205720.jpg

20130827-205726.jpg
Feel free to ask me anything. I can offer support, advice, or a shoulder to cry on.

20130827-210519.jpg

Blog Share: Dear daughter, let Miley Cyrus be a lesson to you

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I didn’t even watch the VMAs and yet I found out about this train wreck. To think, Miley was/is still a role model for young girls. It’s sickening and disheartening. It’s also sad that she is getting so much coverage. Is this what little girls should aspire to be? I say HELL NO! If I have a daughter, she will respect herself AND her body. She will not “twerk” nor seek out any attention in the form of derogatory gestures or scandalous clothing. My sons will know the difference between trash and class. Sorry I’m not sorry.

This blogger said it well:

Dear daughter, let Miley Cyrus be a lesson to you.

Blog Share: Dear daughter, let Miley Cyrus be a lesson to you

20130826-205906.jpg

I didn’t even watch the VMAs and yet I found out about this train wreck. To think, Miley was/is still a role model for young girls. It’s sickening and disheartening. It’s also sad that she is getting so much coverage. Is this what little girls should aspire to be? I say HELL NO! If I have a daughter, she will respect herself AND her body. She will not “twerk” nor seek out any attention in the form of derogatory gestures or scandalous clothing. My sons will know the difference between trash and class. Sorry I’m not sorry.

This blogger said it well:

Dear daughter, let Miley Cyrus be a lesson to you.

Toddler Battle Scars

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Austin has not had much luck in our new house. He’s suffered 2 knarley boo-boos. One was from Sara knocking him into the concrete wall out back (left) & the other one was a nasty spill on our tile step.

Recap:
The first ouchie happened while I was out back with Austin and Luke. I didn’t see it happen because I was attending to Luke. It looked very painful and I felt horrible afterwards. I got some flack from Justin as well for not “warching” Austin. I felt back enough as it was. it happened on my watch. He IS a boy, however, and that was probably going to be the first of many boo-boos. AND IT WAS.

The next bruise/cut came while Dani was here ( Thank gosh! ).

It was late afternoon. Dani and i were in the family room with Luke. Austin was running in the playroom (chasing Sara) and fell (tripped over his own feet no doubt) and hit his forehead on the tile step. I am amazed he didn’t break skin. There was a lovely indent and immediate bruising. He let out a loud wail and started crying immediately. I picked him up and tried to console him, unknowing of his bump (again, i hadn’t witnessed it). I examined him with Dani and she found the bruise/indent.

I had a feeling that i should take him to the ER to make sure he didn’t have a concussion. The indent and bruising made it look bad. i was used to Austin tripping, but not getting this hurt.

I found myself frantically running around the house trying to get things in order to leave with my crying toddler, baby, and Dani. I was basically acting like a chicken with its head cut off… utterly useless. Dani kept telling me things to grab.

Once we got in the car, I realized I had NO idea where the nearest hospital was. I left everyone in the packed car and ran over to my neighbors house across the street. She had her garage open so I knew they were home.

I rang the doorbell and heard a young girl say “I’ll get it,” but her mom opened the door instead. I started with “Hi, I’m your new neighbor.” She smiled and shook my hand. I bet she thought I was introducing herself because when I followed with “where is the nearest hospital” she looked a little bewildered. I explained the situation and she was nice enough to come over and check on Austin for me. Her husband came out as well and offered to help, but she kept motioning for him to go back in the house.

She started giving me directions tk our nearest hospital just as Justin came home. Upon seeing Austin (he flashed his devilish smile), she said I shouldn’t waste my time in a hospital ER and recanted that her son had broken his head open (blood gushing and all) 4 times before he was 4. She told me the signs of a concussion and what to watch for. I was so glad I knocked on her door because she basically saved us a long night at the ER waiting to be seen.

She was right (and Justin suggested we stay home as well). I guess i was just a worrisome mother wanting someone to tell her her baby was ok.

After Austin calmed down he was back to his normal self. His poor little head beat up and bruised; it’s so heartbreaking.

He went to bed fine, but did end up waking up in the middle of the night. I figured his head hurt and gave him some ibuprofen for it and Justin cuddled with him until he went back to sleep.

I am so glad i had such a good support system (Justin, Dani, and my neighbor) to keep my head on straight. Next time I’ll try to keep my cool better. I’m sure my crazy mom status freaked both my boys out. What’s funny is that Dani and Justin called my actions “freaking out” and I thought I handled it better than normal. Hey, I wasn’t crying. Haha.