I am BETTER because of THEM ♥

Being a mom is the most rewarding and, at the same time, most difficult job out there.  I am constantly second-guessing myself and wondering if I am doing the right thing by my kids.  I know there is no RIGHT way to do it, but, I guess, all moms feel like they HAVE TO find the right way.  Right now, I just know that I want to be better.

Today, I watched a video shared in one of my mom’s groups.  In the first segment, a group of moms were filmed reflecting on their parenting abilities (all in the negative).  In the second, the same moms watched clips of their little ones proclaiming what they loved most about their moms.  I couldn’t help but sob.

So now I sit here and reflect on myself as a mommy:

I wish I had more patience.  I want to lose my temper less and shrug away the small stuff.  So what if he spilled water (TWICE).  So what if he bleached the rugs.  So what if he won’t eat his dinner.  So what if he spits up on his second outfit of the day.  So what!  The things he ruins are just that… THINGS.  And sometime I need to be reminded of that.

I wish I was less of a perfectionist with my kids.  Yes, they are going to make mistakes and yes, they will make messes.  But to me, their messes are beautiful (and I need to remind myself they are).  Books strewn across the living room and toys scattered across the house are little reminders that we are making memories.  AWESOME memories.  We are playing and learning and growing as a family.  I don’t want my boys to remember me as a “yeller” or a “clean freak.”  I need to PUT DOWN the toy and just let life happen.  We can clean up when the day is done.  The dishes WILL get done, just not right now.

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I wish I had more quality time with them.  Less cleaning, less picking up, less “jobs” to do and more TIME to focus on the most important job — being a mommy to my two amazing boys.  More LEARNING time and more time to introduce them to something new and exciting.

I started working for Origami Owl to have a supplemental income that would provide more fun for our family and allow me to stay at home with my boys.  I, recently, had to remind myself to STOP working and be with my boys.  This was, after all, for them.  So, I only work during bedtime and naptime.  I was consumed with it in the beginning and now I’ve toned it down a little for the sake of my boys.

REMEMBER ASH, It is FOR THEM.  If they are suffering from this then it is time to stop.

How do I know that I am getting something right? That I AM a great mommy?

The excitement I see in his eyes when he spots me from across the room

When he asks for a hug

When he only wants ME to hold him

When he follows me around the house.

Hearing “momma” in his loving tone

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Toothless grins

Belly-laughs

Surprise kisses

… and many other little reminders

I am thankful for each day I have with them and how much they have helped me grow as, not only a mother, but a person.  I am, without a doubt, better because of them and I hope someday they will feel that they are better because of me.

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Watch the VIDEO here: These Kids Finally Say What They Really Think About Mom. And Her Reaction? Priceless.

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2 thoughts on “I am BETTER because of THEM ♥

  1. Oh man. I needed to read that today. I have a just turned 2 year old and a 6 month old and I’m struggling a lot lately. I feel like I’m making only bad memories of a grumpy mom but I forget that I’m exhausted because my 2 year old refuses to sleep unless I give him kisses every time he wakes up, that the baby wants to playing smiles with me at 3 am every day.

    • Our kids are so close in age and I know just how you feel. Last night, my 5.5 month old woke up as I was jut going to bed around midnight (after posting this), so I brought him in bed and nursed him. Then, a couple hours later my 2 year old woke up crying at his door wanting to sleep with us. Nights have been rough recently. I hope for your sake and my sake that things get better. Kids don’t need zombie
      mommies who are sleep deprived. 🙂

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